A Tryst with Saree- #100sareepact

“Sari my love you are the most beautiful attire

  A timeless fashion, which refuses to retire.”

India- a country known for its rich cultural diversity and heritage, forbye, is richer in terms of evolving fashion and an attire which has withstood windmills of time and effects of globalization is none other than ‘SARI’.

Sari, Saree or Shari  is a word derived from Sanskrit word ‘sati’ which means a strip of cloth. The word ‘sattika’ a sister concern of ‘sati’ finds special mention that describes dresses meant for woman in Buddhist literature called Jatakas. In ancient India, people famously followed a tradition of using an unstitched piece of cloth to cover their body. History even points that stitched clothes were considered to be impure by Hindus and it was only after entry of Muslim rulers that tailored clothes started getting prominence in India. Indian diversity which is a melange of variety of physical features and cultural patterns across the length and breadth of India very well represents the realm of fashion onset by Sari. It is one such dress that can make any other ensemble in world go weak on its knees and this has been proved by Sari power play, when international celebrities had an awe moment while adorning this attire likes of Paris Hilton, Oprah Winfrey, Helen Mirren, and Julia Roberts.

I am literally not aware, when I fell in love with six yards of clothing. But destiny offered me a tryst with saree, when I started teaching in an MBA institute. As per protocol, we were supposed to wear business suits but during conference and seminars, it was mandatory to wear saree and thereafter, I embarked upon my odyssey with six yards of clothing. It also dawned upon me that a saree is not just a saree in India, it’s a multifarious tradition. While North India marvels at Mughal inspired gold and silver thread work of Banarasi Sarees to light weight Kota Doria Sarees to famous tie and dye work of Bandhani sarees, South India exhales rich elegance of lustrous Silk sarees in myriad forms as handwoven Kanchipuram Silk sarees (Tamil Nadu) to Dharmavaram Silk Sarees to block prints of Pochampali sarees to Sealam Sarees. Western India has its own style of designing sarees mostly based on technique of block printing, ikat and tie-dye which can be seen in Chanderi Sarees, Gujarati Braocade Sarees, Paithani Sarees and Tussar Sarees. And then there is Eastern India known for its exquisite Dhakai jamdani, Sambalpuri Sari, Assam Silk, Tant sari and not to forget traditional dress of Assam, which is a second version of sari known as ‘Mekhla Chador’.

Saree is not just six or nine yards of clothing but a journey to discover the other you, the beautiful like, the goddess like, the nurturer like, the caretaker like. In short, it lets us redefine feminism. While it may seem to be an ordinary and simple piece of clothing, but once you drape it imparts an unparallel elegance and sophistication with a fashion statement second to none, covering almost all body parts and exposing just the right parts forming a perfect silhouette. In fact, you can hashtag it as world’s sexiest dress.

As part of Indian wedding shopping spree, I again got an opportunity to return to my love- Sari. I bought a lot many sarees for various occasions and when the entire wedding rituals came to halt, I was in possession of some 60+ sarees. Of course, I carried some of them  to various functions and family gatherings, but still many of these master clothings are lying low in my wardrobe. Because I am too busy with daily work and routine, I mostly adorn western dresses for their ease and accessibility or whenever I get an opportunity to rock an ethnic ensemble, I choose salwar kameez reason for being they are less time taking. Yeah, you got it right, for me wearing saree takes time but that does not mean my love for saree has lessened.

The other day, I stumbled on this article in Huffpost http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2015/03/26/100-saree-pact_n_6945050.html?.  It is an initiative by two lovely ladies in Bangalore by name of Anju Kadam (@MaudgalKadam) and Ally Mathan (@ahalayamatthan). Reading it, I knew it’s the time to re-invoke our lost love for sarees in our wardrobe that are shrieking of zari, chikankari, floral motifs, zardozi, mirror work and feel the magic touch of fabric clinging to your body that gives us an avatar of nothing less than a Diva. It’s time we give this dormant attire an active role in our lives and experiment with its versatility.

I call upon on my all girlfriends to ditch that cocktail dress, cropped pants, denims, tops at least once in a week and commit to #100sareepact  #sareedate till the end of 2015.

I also request my male friends, to join this pact by sharing experiences and pictures of beautiful ladies in their lives with the hashtag.

(For details visit http://100sareepact.com/)

P.S.-

Dear Saree,

It's a date. For sure.

Yours lost love

Woman in Saree

Two Different Worlds

NH 10 is certainly a sadist thriller that takes you on highway to hell called Jatland, howbeit it also takes you wandering to the desi culture of ‘soul of India’ which resides in villages. The movie distinctly brings out gross differences between city life and village life, which one cannot possibly ignore, in fact, it illustrates the reality of living in another India. While urban India glares with its high-rise buildings, twinkling malls, luxurious hotels, night life, busy streets and glitzy houses making its presence felt; rural India sits in nook and corner around these cities lying quiet low with single-rise houses mostly made of bamboo or mud, haats or village bazaars blooming under lowlights of lanterns, quiet streets, consolidated land holdings and zero night life. The movie points out that the countryside is not just about lush green paddy fields and peaceful life because its calm and quietness is often marred with heinous crimes, manslaughter, honour killing, Khap panchayats, casteism, witchcraft, rapes etc, but like the ripples agitated by breeze are limited to ponds, they occur, stay and die in confines of village area (very very rarely noticed by watchdog media).

While metro cities claim the glory of being ethnically diversified and have cross cultural populace, rural India is still tied up in shackles of casteism or gotrism (gotra) wherein Brahmin village can be distinguished from Rajput village which in turn can be distinguished from Jat village which are further divided as per sub-gotra or sub-tribe. These villages are best examples of primitive times where the men are bread earners and work outside in fields while women role is confined to the walls of the courtyard, doing all the household chores. Women are murdered here for falling in love with a human outside their caste or with same gotra, illegal abortion of female foetuses is common, western clothes if adorned by females can lead to murders, kids go to school not to learn but to avail service of Mid-day meal, honour killing is matter of pride, a man’s machismo is pronounced by number of rapes committed by him and justice is not the prerogative of police or courts but of ruthless khap panchayats having their own rule of thumb.

I am not saying that our cities are crime free, highways to heaven and not to mention Delhi being the rape capital of India but at least voices are being raised, protests are being made, media comes out in support of the victims, women are conscious of their rights, social activists and human rights activist lend a support. Metro girls feel proud to exude confidence while describing themselves as woman of the house and proud to be born as female and on other hand ladies in these hamlets find themselves as damsels in deep distress, constantly weeping in consternation and cursing the moment they were born. Crimes, rapes and murders are hardly reported, if reported they are hardly prosecuted.  Just think of these women residing in the villages who are constantly raped in name of marriages, domestic violence is like handling daily chores, are subjected to dogmatic and bizarre customs to ensure they remain in their aukats, hardly access any education and spend their entire life serving under the veil of darkness without expecting any hopeless hope. #WomanEmancipation #RespectWoman #BetiBachao #BetiPadhao #NariShakti may be just a few cuss word for them prescribed by Federation of Males. And still we talk about inclusive growth, development, woman safety and woman emancipation in India. Is that possible in this mundane scenario? Will things ever change for them while me are still awaiting justice for city women? #NirbhayaRapeCase #UberRapeCase #MathuraRapeCase and many more. While for city lads and ladies justice is still in prenatal stage, for ladies in villages justice has bot been even conceived. Anyone listening? Hope so.........

Certainly, city and village is two different worlds humming to each other

“They say we are so far apart and that we have not the right to change our destiny.”

Shundorban

Shundorban or Sundarban literally means beautiful forest. Our much awaited trip to this forest took place recently and must say it was worth a visit. This place is a beautiful amalgamation of tidal forest, wild life, river islands and natural beauty. The name of this world's largest mangrove forest is a mystery in itself, there are various claims, one of the famous theory is that, it is patch work of three names Samudraban (which mean sea forest) and Chandra Bandher (a primitive tribe). And of course it is famous for its Sundari trees that are found in large numbers and Royal Bengal Tiger, who is aan, baan and shaan of this destination.

Our two day trip to Shundor Forest was a mindful experience which gave us a sneak peek of not only beauty of mangrove forest but also hardships of human population residing on the islands without fresh water and electricity, regularly haunted by tiger attacks. Inspite of these difficluties, these people tend to enjoy their life to fullest by singing dancing and praying to bonbibi (guardian spirit that protects them from tiger attack). A must visit for people who are in love with offbeat destinations.

It is place where union of river and sea takes place that leads to birth of unique flora and fauna amidst wetland. Like the roar of Royal Bengal Tiger, Sundarbans beauty roars in epic silence that soothes your senses, far away from the madding crowd, will make you fall in love with its rustic touch and simplicity of life. But this roar is receding away with its receding coast line, vanishing mangroves and endangered species. The beauty of the forest is largely exploited by climate change, man made hazards and sometimes by natural hazards like cyclone. 

Here are few beautiful shots from my lens.

AIJ (All India Judgemental)

“Judgemental is not stating an opinion or even labelling something as “good” or “bad”. Being judgemental is when based on one quality of someone or something you conclude about his whole nature, about all his other qualities. You judge his wholeness based on one aspect.”

The other day my maid busted into the house with a miffed face patently lacking her usual chirpiness; I enquired her about her state of nature since three days “Ki hoyechhe masi??” (What happened masi?). She retorted back “Kichu na” (Nothing). But I continued coaxing her and finally she answered. She confessed to me that her sister’s only grandchild has turned up to be an abnormal being because of some kala jadu tona done by their jealous neighbour. The family discovered after 7 years that their only grandson belongs to third sex and everyone is so bloody upset about it. His mother cries entire day and his father was so devastated that he refuses to return back home. She also told me that his sister’s family is thinking of handing over their only grandson to ‘hijra community’. I was horrified to hear this but still keeping that feeling aside, I expressed my disagreement with the decision of handing over the child to a particular community. To this she answered in her Bengali-Hindi dialect, “ek hi to bacha tha unka, jisse sara umeed tha. Unka sari umeedo pe pani phir gaya. Uska papa ladka ko police officer banana chahta tha par ab....(crying). Itna pyara tha bacha.... par ab uska kya zindagi hoga.... koi izzat nahin milega....samaj me beadnami hoga......hijra logon ke saath hi bitega pura zindagi”. Again suppressing my disgust I said “I can understand that he is not male or female but he belongs to third sex and that is totally human. Even SC (Supreme Court) recognizes the existence of third gender and nobody has any right to stop that kid from reaching any position or profession, if he gets good education and guidance’’. To this she replied “Ye sab baat kitab me acha lagta hai asli zindagi me nai”. She returned to her usual core and I switched on my laptop, digged out a helpline number of LGBT community. I asked my maid to take that number and persuade family members to call on this number just once before reaching any decision.

She went away, leaving me in sea of emotions. However, I may try; I could not keep my mind from sharing the plight of that seven year old kid. I was more alarmed by the fact that how the family can come to a conclusion that kid has no future but to be part of a transgender community. Although transgender community is gaining recognition in various fields like Kalki Subramaniam is India’s first transgender entrepreneur, Madhu Kinnar is India’s first transgender mayor from Riagarh etc but at the same time we cannot ignore the fact that third sex is still seen as low-life in our society. We adopt and love pets irrespective or unaware of the fact that they may be homosexual or transsexual but we cannot love and respect a human who is not male or female but a third sex. So, I think the issue is not transgender or bi-sexuality or LGBT community but our ill-coated minds loaded with hollow mind-sets that carry sagacity of culture and tradition which we have tailored according to our convenience. This same mind has courtroom where we are ultimate Lord of Justice taking suo moto cognizance and passing judgement landmark in our own way.

“It is said never judge a book by its cover, but it has never been said never judge a Human by his gender.”

This reminds me of lines from the novel ‘Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho “The whole world seems to have very clear idea of how other should live their lives but they haven’t a clue how to live their own.”  We, humans are so good at reaching conclusions, based on our self made judgement and still would never admit that we are judgemental.

Even before the bride steps in her in-laws family members would have their own opinions “Ladki post graduate or working hai tez to hogi hi”

“Love marriage kar raha hai beta. Nahi mante to kya hi karte? Humara ladka phas gaya ladki ke chakkar me”

“Maine bhabhi ki facebook profile dekhi hai, sari pics western dresses me hi hain.” sister-in-law (who if given an opportunity would love to live her entire life in hotpants or mini skirts).

“Bahu ki lagam zara kas ke rakhna, aaj kal ki ladkiyan ate hi pati ko apne bas me kar leti hain”

And what not.......??

On other hand there is saying “Sari umar bhi kam kam pad jati hai kisi ko samajhne me” (Even a lifetime is less to understand somebody). These people who have not even lived one day with their bride to be suddenly become panel experts in judging her nature, behaviour and even character. Just because you son is going for a love marriage or because girl is modern in her attire, that doesn’t mean she would make a bahu like ‘Cruella’ (western version of Shashikala or Lalita Pawar). Similarly, a thief may be involved in crime, but that doesn’t means he is a bad human being, his life-situations may have turned him into criminal. If a woman is divorcee, that doesn’t means she is not a family woman, maybe she just never met the right family. The reserved woman in your society, who hardly says hi to you and seems to be arrogant, may be going through depression. Just because you are Hindu, you are not superior to other religions. We judge everyone and anything right from our life partners, our friends, our teachers, our bosses, movies, paintings, laughter videos (pun intended) and even court judgements, before having even a look in our backyard rotting with our misdeeds. It is not that only Indians are judgemental, every society is but we just over do it.

“Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you”

We all have our moments of desperation and that is when sin is in but we would never accept the fact that we are sinners. We should understand difference between opinion and passing judgement. We are part of free society, we have freedom to express our views but let’s leave the responsibility of judgement to courts or tribunals rather making our life a courtroom, where we are constantly judging people. I am sure even most gruelling issues like Indo-Pak relations, Israel-Palestine relations, Somali Civil War and even Terrorism, can be solved if we stop being judgemental. Only thing that is required is ability to step into someone else’s shoes. Even BJP would have won Delhi election’, if it would have stopped being judgemental about Arvind Kejriwal. Let us stop sitting on our high horses and judging everyone. Once we bring an end to the courtroom in our mind, we would experience spas in own bathroom with geyser, meditation would become easier, Art of Living experience will be at home, world would be a better place to live, relation would become more agreeable and life would be more welcoming. Not being judgemental will not make you less opinionated or spineless, just a better person. I know it’s difficult........ But just try......Once.....!!!

We must remember that we all live in glass houses and no one has clean window.

A visit to Vishakhapatnam aka Vizag

Popularly known as "Jewel of east coast", Vishakapatnam is one such city that offer flavors for various travelers with various palate.  It has something for everyone's interest be it culture, history, architecture, beaches , religion etc. It is one of the rare cities in India endowed upon with natural combo of sea and hills. Such is the beautiful spirit of Vishakhapatnam, that even the notorious hudhud which succeeded in sending tremors across could not traumatize it. Here are few shots from my recent visit to this beautiful city. 

RamaKrishna Beach

Ramakrishna Beach

INS Kursura Submarine Museum

A view of Vizag city from Kailasgiri Hilltop Park

Kailasgiri hilltop Park

RushiKonda Beach

Still rising from effect of hudhud cyclone...